In Intractable contact disputes (high conflict), the judge has a difficult decision to make, and one in which they shall seek expert advice to assist them. The Family Court and professionals involved can benefit from a deeper understanding of the changing behaviours in our society and how to recognise them in difficult cases; what appears to be an intractable contact dispute may in fact be a domestic abuse (risk) case; a good understanding of coercive control is required to make a contact decision which keeps the child safe from harm.