To be accused of Parental Alienation in a Family Court action is frightening, particularly if the accuser is also the abuser. Extremely narcissistic individuals will accuse their ex-partner of the behaviour which they are guilty. In a courtroom, with their charming façade, the narcissist will always win a battle of words. They are convincing, and they can deceive judges confidently. One must look deep into the evidence to find the truth.

When a protective mother enters Family Court proceedings, she can often present in a manner which doesn't meet the judge's high expectations of her. Some judges have outdated views on abuse and are not in touch with modern-day ideologies on coercively controlling and narcissistic behaviour. Unbeknown to the traumatised victim, the judge, may view her as a 'bitter, vengeful ex who could quite possibly be alienating the child'.

The victim may be feeling frustrated at the system, where she has seen the documented abuse painfully invalidated. The victim is angry that the abuser appears to get away with all their cruel behaviour, not understanding that the Civil Court is not a place for punishment. The victim can be terrified of the abuser and could be suffering trauma too. The blameless victim believes that when a judge hears of the egregious Domestic Abuse or Child Abuse and sees the evidence of it, the judge will see who the perpetrator is. Regrettably, this is not always the case.

The extremely narcissistic parent enters Family Court proceedings with very little evidence and an air of confidence only. What judges and child welfare reporters witness before them, is clouded by the successful behavioural projection and deception of the narcissistic parent. What the judge often sees is one parent who can be highly emotional, anxious, desperate, exasperated and another parent who is charming, calm, confident and convincing.

Regrettably, this is not the only landmine the victim must step over on this frightening battlefield. Professor Joan Meier (Professor of Law, George Washington University, Domestic Violence Lawyer and Expert) carried out extensive research into cases involving abuse and alienation claims. Her most recent groundbreaking study found that the odds of being successful, when Parental Alienation gets counterclaimed to abuse, are stacked against a female victim. In Brunel University, London, research was also carried out on this subject by Dr Adrienne Barnett.

'Parental Alienation' is being misused and overused in Family Courts worldwide. The term 'Parental Alienation' in court still has connections to a discredited theory of Parental Alienation Syndrome. It is now a fact that fathers, statistically, will be much more successful if they counterclaim Parental Alienation when accused of abuse. It has, therefore, become the 'go-to' defence for abusers whose representation use it tactically. There is a whole industry of 'Parental Alienation Experts' encouraging them, and child welfare reporters supporting them.

When a mother claims abuse in the Family court and the father counterclaims with Parental Alienation, the abuser's allegations of Parental Alienation become the judge's focus, and accusations of abuse by the victim can then help the abuser's position since the abuser claims these accusations are alienating behaviour. This result's in the evidence of abuse not being given the weight it deserves. Real alienating behaviour (often carried out by the highly narcissistic parent), and other abuse, does not get sufficiently explored.

The judgment given can result in one of the cruellest miscalculations of justice, and it is happening at a worryingly high rate.

The judgment can result in;

• The healthy, safe parent having contact time reduced

• The healthy, safe parent losing the residency order

• The traumatised child getting forced into direct contact or into the residence of their abuser, against their wishes.

• The healthy, safe parent feeling suicidal. They are overwhelmed by feelings of loss, grief and helplessness. They may now face financial ruin and may have lost their home in the process too.

• The narcissistic parent now attempting to alienate the child further, from the parent who has fought to the ends of the earth to protect them from abuse.

• The victim getting gagged by order of the court.

Imagine the narcissist's delight, at having accomplished revenge on such a grand scale, on the ex who caused their ego its most significant injury. Imagine the devastation of the loving, safe parent, who's greatest mistake in life was to fall for a cruel individual who preyed on their weaknesses. Imagine the distress of that same parent closing their eyes every night, knowing that their child's abuser is free to continue the abuse. Think, for a moment, of the terrified child.

The resulting injustice for the female victim in the Family Court due to the misuse of ‘Parental Alienation’ is deplorable and would make headlines if society were allowed to hear about it. Brunel University, London propose further research and to carry out an international study on the extent of this significant problem, and the response to it in courts around the world. This study would be valuable to those actively seeking a solution in the UK.

Abusive parents and those with extreme narcissistic traits are a threat to children, and those children must be protected. The narcissist's willingness to psychologically torture their child to maintain power and control is shocking. It is no wonder children withdraw from, and seek to reduce contact with, these parents. The narcissistic perpetrator's skilful ability to mask their true character and portray themselves as a victim should be a grave concern for those seeking to administer justice.

The number of confirmed cases of Parental Alienation, as a counterclaim to abuse in the UK, is currently unknown. Still, one doesn't need to look far to find the victims who have suffered gross injustice as a result. Traumatised and silenced parents, who have lost parenting time with, or custody of, the very children they sought to protect are in their thousands, on groups on social media, worldwide. Groups such as 'The Court Said' headed by Natalie Page are snowballing and gaining the support of journalists, law and medical professionals and politicians.

Society is 'onto' the dangerous abuser's who counterclaim Parental Alienation; one would hope the Judiciary will now catch up.