Children (Scotland) Bill

Scotland is currently in the process of ground-breaking family justice modernisation. Yesterday, Minister Ash Denham passed the Children (Scotland) Bill with a unanimous vote. The government listened to charities, and survivors of domestic abuse and their children, and they are making radical reforms to help protect the vulnerable and to make the family justice system a fairer, kinder and safer world to enter. Ministers from all parties worked together with their focus firmly set on the best interests and welfare of the child; something survivors have desperately sought from those working in the family court system.

Hijack attempts were made on the bill by the members of a powerful and predatory American association. They swooned into Scotland and helped lobby for amendments, under guises. Just like the narcissist in the courtroom, their appearance is charming and convincing; one must see beneath the professionally marketed websites to get to the truth.

Parental Alienation

Parental alienation has long been known, in Scotland, to be the weapon of choice for abusers in the family court. Scotland has repeatedly rejected the term in legislation. PA proponents ‘threatened’ Scotland that they would be back with a ‘vengeance’; they certainly stuck to their word. The PA proponents were on a mission, and that mission was to get PA to remain in our courtrooms, through the back door. Victims of coercive control are familiar with threats and vengeance; they have dealt with it for years.

Currently, domestic abuse victims, including children, suffer the consequences of the weapon of PA; it’s sneaked into our courtrooms through welfare reporters, lawyers and judges who support the patriarchal beliefs behind it. Abusive parents, with their PA proponent's team, deny the abuse, exploit the victim's trauma, and use it as evidence against them. The PA team ‘stitch-up’ the victim of abuse by pathologizing them, not the abusive parent. The PA proponents create a referral system between mediators, therapists, psychologists and other services to rack up the parent’s bill until the protective victim and controlling abuser has nothing left financially to give. The formula of DA v PA = $$$ has worked well for PA proponents for a long time. They fly around in helicopters, wine and dine at our golf resorts and attempt to make alliances with anyone who will further their cause. They see the abuse victim and the child as commodities.

Devastation to lives

Meanwhile, they destroy entire childhoods. Abuse victims are forced to keep silent and encouraged not to take action when their child gets abused. They are ordered to send their children kicking and screaming into unsafe contact. Suicidal children threaten to jump out of moving cars, run away or cut themselves to avoid their fate, and the safe parent is forced by the judge to co-operate with and deliver the child to the abusive parent, or face jail. The abusive parent is treated by all involved with courtesy, respect, and a hall pass to do as they please. It can only be described as psychological torture for the abuse victim and abused child. The PA counterclaim ruins lives; innocent domestic abuse victims end up re-traumatised with endless court action, often suffering yet denied access to support. The child must recount their story of abuse over and over to various ‘experts’, anxious, or vomiting as they go. Children end up with mental health issues or dead.

The survivors of the family court crisis have been driven by fear for years on end. Fear throughout their coercively controlling and violent relationships, fear throughout their many years in the court system, and fear throughout the resulting contact or custody arrangements. Those who survived, and met with fellow victims through #thecourtsaidScotland and #thecourtsaid campaigns, did something courageous. They chose to be no longer driven by fear. They chose to raise their voices and take a stand against injustice. They chose to fight back against patriarchy, might over right, and narcissistic power and control. They chose, like the Scottish MSP's did, to do the right thing for the child.

The archaic concept of sweeping domestic abuse under the carpet so that contact can continue is dangerous. It does not fit into Scotland’s plans to become a trauma-informed nation.  The tactical weapon of PA is ruthless and used by those whose motives are driven not by the child’s interests, but by their interests.

Scotland and the survivors

The survivors of abuse and their children are on a mission to eradicate unscrupulous behaviour from the family courts, as is the Scottish government it seems. Deceitful, charming, narcissistic abusers in the courtroom can be exposed by proving how their actions don't match their words, as can those who claim to be dedicated to the resolution of family conflict, but in practice, aggravate conflict so that they can profit from the trauma of the vulnerable.

Back in 2017, a well known PA proponent spoke of Scotland’s Shame for rejecting parental alienation. She spoke of Scotland’s ‘toxic smog’, our lack of progression, and she claimed 'I promise that Scotland's consciousness will come into line with that of England, Wales and Northern Ireland on the issue of parental alienation. 

Scotland, today, can hold it's head high in its clear, toxic-free air. Scotland can take pride in its progression and its savviness in not falling for the charm and deception of the parental alienation proponents in guises. Victims of a parent conducting a pattern of harmful behaviour towards the child already have a remedy in Domestic Abuse legislation. We hope fellow nations will fall in line with the consciousness of Scotland on the matter and also seek to eradicate unscrupulous behaviour from their justice systems. We hope they will then lay ‘parental alienation’ to rest, once and for all.